If you’re going to make it in Hollywood, you have to think like a Hollywoodian. If you want to make movies you need to think sequel, remake, comic book or television show. Period. Whatever you do, don’t waste your time coming up with anything original. Why? Because it’s just too risky to be original today.
Do you know how much the average movie costs to make today? Take a guess.
In 2006, the average Hollywood movie cost $65.8 million. With that kind of money at stake, wouldn’t you play it safe, too?
Putting my Hollywoodian thinking cap on, I think I’ve come up with the next foolproof Hollywood blockbuster. It’s a reimagining of The Six Million Dollar Man.
As part of the reimagining, the first thing I would do is change the title to something that’s a little more contemporary. When the Six Million Dollar Man was made back in 1973, six million dollars was a lot of money, but when you account for inflation and the year 2009, six million dollars just doesn’t have the same ring to it. That’s why I’d rename the movie simply “The Bionic Man.” It’s short, sweet and to the point.
Synopsis of “The Bionic Man”
The story begins as private sector research and development company, Propeldyne, is gearing up to demonstrate a new jet engine technology that would enable new commercial airlines to hit Mach 10 while at the same time consuming half the fuel that’s being used by today’s commercial airlines. At Mach 10, people could fly from SF to NY in under a half hour and from SF to London in just an hour. And where current jet technology uses about $1,500 in jet fuel to go from SF to NY. The new jet engine technology would reduce costs to around $750.
In short, it’s revolutionary technology... The interesting thing about Propeldyne is that it’s privately funded. This is not something the government has sponsored or another nationally-know jet company has designed. The new technology has been in development for the last five years in total secret.
After we give a background on Propeldyne and the secret jet engine technology they’ve created, we cut to the first public unveiling. The world’s major leaders and media are invited to witness the historic first flight. And the company has secure former NASA shuttle commander Steve Austin to the pilot the experimental new plane.
The plane takes off. On the ground scientists and researchers are monitoring the activity happening in the plane... Mach 7... Mach 8... Mach 9... Suddenly an emergency alarm sounds. Austin screams something inaudible into his headset... The plane explodes.
There’s chaos on the ground. Government leaders come in and immediately shuts down the private operation. Oscar Goldman, the Propeldyne executive in charge of the operation suspects that something more sinister happened in the cockpit before the plane exploded, but he has no proof, no leads and doesn’t even know where to start.
Two days later they recover Austin's body in on a remote mountain. He's a mess and just barely alive. He's still wearing his parachute that is in tatters from the plane's explosion. Goldman's people scrape him off the ground and bring him to another one of Goldman's research laboratories... One that's been experimenting with bionics. They set Austin up with the latest in bionic technology, train him and send him on a mission to find out what really happened in the cockpit that fateful day.
The mystery/investigation leads to a competing airline manufacturer and military executives in United States government. Using his new bionic super powers, Austin uncovers the national conspiracy to close down Propeldyne and brings the guilty parties to justice.
For this movie to work, it has to be made totally straight. Some would suggest taking the cheesy-kitch-tongue-in-cheek approach… because the show itself was so cheesy, but that’s just an excuse for a cheap joke. I think this reimagining, if done right, could be a pretty cool action picture. The Bionic Man would be a new superhero again. There to compete against the likes of Iron Man, Batman, Spiderman etc. etc.
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